the flood

It's that time of the year. No, not the holidays. No, not the weather. No, not the fact it's dark at 4:30. It's Award Season ladies and gentlemen and Hollywood is shoving everything down our throats during the prestigious and overcrowded month of December. The Independent Spirit nominations are out and the National Board of Review and the Gotham Awards announced their winners this week. It's on motherfuckers! There are some films that I'm foaming at the mouth in anticipation ("The Curious Case of Benjamin Button") and others, well, uh I have zero fucking interest in acknowledging their presence. Here are the five films I'll be avoiding this month:

"Doubt"
Directed by John Patrick Shanley
I HATE THIS MOVIE. I HATE THIS MOVIE. Meryl is chewing scenery as if she hasn't had a decent meal in years.


"What Doesn't Kill You"
Directed by Brian Goodman
Didn't James Gray make this movie like twice? Ethan Hawke has a gold tooth, so count me out.


"Nothing But the Truth"
Directed by Rod Lurie
I defend Kate Beckinsale in "Last Days of Disco" but this movie looks abysmal.


"Frost/Nixon"
Directed by Ron Howard
I HATE RON HOWARD. I HATE RON HOWARD.



"Seven Pounds"
Directed by Gabriele Muccino
Woody Harrelson has a blind man in an awful wig, Will Smith in serious mode, Rosario Dawson in another throwaway role, and I bet there's a twist about someone being dead. Do I need to give you more reasons why I will not be seeing this movie?